Given the season, I've been giving thought to what I've done to myself, through my own actions or inactions, over the years. It has been a mildly depressing review, but, on balance, invigorating.
I read this post by Therese Borchard today, and felt that niggling sense of remembrance, familiarity. Yes, I've been a people pleaser when it was convenient. And while that is sometimes a good choice to make, the habitual "giving in" to others' whims, manipulations and pettiness falls more into the category of self-abuse and BAD decision making.
So upon review of my "gutless wonder" moments, which recently spiked, I have determined the following. Standing up for myself, my health and my well-being isn't evil. It's 100% necessary.
The other night I found myself watching Joel Osteen - it was sort of like sitting down to eat a bowl of mashed potatoes - comforting, a bit mushy, warm...I've not read any of his books, and I'm not a habitual consumer of televangelism, but it was a low point and I needed a boost. And the man said something that made sense: that self-abuse and excessive self-criticism, exercised simply out of route habit, isn't good for you or anyone you come in contact with.
Lots of mumbo jumbo - the upshot is this. We are all better people than we think we are; our nature tends to run toward the good, not the bad. And when we see things that aren't right, that aren't good for us or the people we love, we almost always have the option to stand up, to speak truth to power, whether that be someone who cuts in front of you at the grocery store, or a company that profits off others' misery. Question is, when the moment comes, what do you do?
So I've been asking myself this - and I've concluded that to be in a position to do this, you really have to practice self-care. You can't make good judgements and reach the best conclusion when you are perpetually stressed out, over-caffeinated, hopeless, tired. That is precisely the point when you are likely to say "Oh, what the hell, go ahead and roll over the top of me. I just don't have the energy to stop this."
So in 2010, I want to more often than not be in a place where I am alert and committed to NO MORE PEOPLE PLEASING - or at least no mindless people pleasing!
Who's in?
